Q: Can I become a missionary even if my parents still need my assistance at home?

I think that is the wrong question. The first question should be: Did God direct me to go overseas as a missionary? Then ask: Will I obey God or not? Jesus stated that following him at times may entail "hating" your parents. I don't suppose he was suggesting anyone should actively hate their parents. However, your willingness to obey God, rather than the desires of your parents, may seem to them like "hating" them. When Jesus called one person to follow him, he said he needed to first "bury" his parents, presumably meaning, wait until they have died and your obligation to them is carried out. Jesus replied, "Let the dead bury the dead." It sounds harsh, but the inference was clear. Following Jesus is more important than carrying out parental obligations.

My wife and I were both first generation Christians, and when we were called to missions, we had opposition from both our families. Other missionaries have Christian parents who attended Bible conferences that seem to teach that even when children are grown, adult children still have family obligations to the parents like in the Old Testament. Therefore, if the parents oppose missions, the children should not go.

In our case, we heard from the Lord an assurance that if we were about His business, He would take care of ours. By the way, all four of our parents came to Jesus before they died. We were also in America as each of them died. All were happy we had done in missions. Our agency has many missionaries who go overseas for a number of years and later take extended home leave to care for aging parents. A soldier is one who is to ready for combat. However, not every soldier is always on the front line.

No, I don't think you will be "abandoning" your parents if you go to obey a call from God. In Scripture Jesus' call to men, in His eyes, was always first before family relationships and other things that give us a sense of obligation. Sense of obligation to parents is God-given, but as the disciples said, "I must obey God rather than man." My wife and I are called to overseas missions and are in training right now. As we considered the call we had concerns. We asked a missionary of 20 years, who we respect, what he thought about our concern. He said that if the only thing keeping us from obeying God's call was our family, then God could remove that barrier, and since we don't want that, obedience sounds a lot better. That was a hard word, but it put things in perspective for us. A fish swallowed Jonah. That put things in perspective for him.

The other half of this is the kindness of God. I have seen God work in my wife’s family. She is an only child and most definitely her parents "treasure." They were not Christians when we became Christians and started answering the call of God to missions. At first it seemed to them that we were nuts and in defiance to them. But, as they have watched our lives, and seen our conviction, and with much prayer on our part, they have become our supporters. One of them has come alive in Christ and now supports missions regularly financially and is excited about us going.

Be encouraged! If God is calling you, he will provide for you in your family relationships. Pray, persevere, honor your parents, and most definitely obey God at all costs.