Q: What if a parent opposes me becoming a missionary?

Pray for God to change your parents' hearts, pray for God to guide you and to make your calling sure, pray for God to bring people into your parents' lives who would positively influence them toward missions.

Invite missionaries home to a meal, or invite your parents to hear missionary speakers whenever they are at church. Maybe they think you are destined to a life of poverty if you go in that direction. They need to be exposed to the positive side of missionary work.

Be willing to wait before you actually go to the mission field long term. Talk casually about your desire to be a missionary from time to time. That will help the idea to sink in a bit. And approach your future career in small bites -- go on a local missions trip, and then on a missions trip overseas.

When I found out that I would have to make a two-year commitment to the mission field, my immediate reaction was "Forget it!" I won’t quit my job for that. My job is too good to give up. Besides, what would my dad, who paid for my studies for seven years, say? I had only been working for three years. He is not a Christian and would probably think that he invested his money in vain. I especially thought he wouldn’t like the fact that I needed to raise support, because he values independence.

I decided to go on the mission field eighteen months later. This time of waiting gave my family a chance to get used to the fact that I would be leaving for two years. I was surprised that my father did not react like I expected. He had no problem with me quitting my job. He thought it would be good for me to see the world and that I would learn a lot. It was harder for my mother to accept because she has such different beliefs and does not understand how I can travel around to promote the Bible. But she changed her mind once she visited the ministry and saw that we offer the gospel only to those who are looking for the truth. She actually has become quite positive about it as she tells other about what I am doing.

Excerpted from pp. 57ff in the book Scaling the Wall: overcoming obstacles to missions involvement by Kathy Hicks.

There are two ways that I have seen division occur. Sometimes this happens for the cause of Christ. Others may ask me to do things that are against God, but I need to stand firm and be ready to face opposition, even from my parents. But sometimes division occurs when you love others, including your family, more than God. Jesus tells us the most important thing is that He is first in our lives.

My greatest wish is to serve God in full-time ministry, and I was hoping that my parents would give in at any moment. God would not tell me to obey my parents and then ask me to disobey. I told God I could not go without both of my parents’ permission and blessing. I was firm in my convictions, and knew I had made a choice that pleased God. I went to my parents with humility and told them my decision. They were grateful, and I could see my decision gained me their respect.

As I began to submit to my parents in other ways, I began to see my dad’s heart becoming softer. As I trusted God to work in me and through me, my dad and I became closer and he could see visible changes in me. During my last year at university I began to look for a job. God led me to a full-time position in the United Kingdom as a missionary. I immediately realized that the job and location were perfect for me. I knew God was calling me to serve Him in this position-I just needed the approval of my parents.

When I found the opportunity in the U.K., I sent them a copy of the job description. I nervously waited and prayed for God’s providence in the situation. My mother said she was excited because I had found a job that is perfectly suited for me. She and my dad were both thrilled and knew that this is where I should be. I thanked God for His ability to work things out for my good and His glory.

When I think about where I might be right now if I had said yes two years ago, I’m grieved. My parents would have cut me off, and I would be without my parents’ support. The opportunities to tell my dad about the Lord would have never existed.

Excerpted from pp. 90ff in the book Scaling the Wall: overcoming obstacles to missions involvement by Kathy Hicks of Operation Mobilization, published by Authentic Media.

Parental disapproval keeps numerous young people off the mission field. Those who do go frequently leave behind parents who are supportive but hurting. Parents, missionaries, and recruits can contact the National Network of Parents of Missionaries (NNPOM) for understanding and help. Visit POMnet.org.