Q: How does a single who is a missionary or a future missionary find a right partner?

My wife and I met each other overseas and married a year later. I think that the biggest dilemma single missionaries always talk about is whether God has called them to be single or not. When I left for East Asia, I was 25 and many people close to me strongly questioned my decision since I was single. I decided to follow God first and continue trusting Him for a wife.

So, I have three words of advice: 1) Get moving towards the field without waiting around to get married. God will honor your faithfulness and bring you great blessing in every way. 2) Keep your eyes open for potential spouses, and if you feel that God has not called you to be single, then don't give up on getting married and don't stop looking. 3) Single missionaries often overlook potential love interests based on a petty, limited perspective about how perfect their potential spouse needs to be. We all have deficiencies that God works out of us as we grow in marriage. I know of several single guys on the field who were a little quirky, but were radically transformed through the tender hand of a loving wife. Don't limit God and overlook His perfect choice for you over small things that don't really matter.

Having dated on the mission field, I will give one final piece of advice for those currently on the field: it can often be like a small town where everybody has their own special opinion about your relationship, etc. The pastor who eventually married us gave us some great advice, "Find one mature couple that you trust and confide in them, then tell everyone else to mind their own business." I think I should add that many of the rules and regulations mission organizations like to apply to their singles who want to date are often far stricter than anyone can reasonably be expected to follow (or than the leaders themselves would have been able to follow when single). In light of this, I strongly recommend being open about your relationship from the start and allowing God to soften the hearts of your mission leaders and teammates as they see love develop.

I struggled with this issue - I didn't want to go on the field single, so I waited. But someone told me once that if I wanted to find a guy who was committed to missions, I should look for him on the mission field. And that made a lot of sense. If he's obedient to the Lord, then he's already there, not at home, right?

So I finally left, and mostly it's really great and I don't mind being single. There are still times when what's ahead seems very daunting and a partner to help pursue the vision would be great. But I trust the Lord and He knows whether or not I can do what He's calling me to do, with or without a partner, and I believe He will equip me with whatever it is I need. Look to Him for your fulfillment!

I determined a few years ago, that since God was calling me, I must obey and as I obeyed, He would bring along someone with the same calling who was working in the same part of the world as I am. Trust Him, if He has called you and wants you married, He will cause your two paths to merge into one and you will have a much happier marriage than if you stay in your home country and ended up marrying someone who does not share in that vision.'

Missions is different than a job; it is a lifestyle during the day, night, weekends, and holidays. It is a culture in itself. In that culture of ministry we women should understand that as a single woman we are free to serve God, and God first. But if we choose to marry, we lose that, as we become wives. We may be the same person, but our ministry has changed from serving others to serving one's husband. That is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a great honor, but it is an extreme change for a woman.

Pray diligently about the matter. There is no right or wrong. Make sure you and your dream man have the same vision before you commit to a life that is not for you. If you are an unhappy wife you will hinder the ministry of your husband and hinder missions. If you choose to marry, then serve your husband with all you have and do it joyfully. If you don't marry, then serve God with all your might.

Sometimes we forget that the same God that lead us into missions is the same God who has our future planned. One of the biggest tools to be a successful missionary is your trust and faith in God, and I believe trusting Him in your love life is a great way to start.

I knew I was called to missions all my life. After I graduated from Bible school as a single, although I wanted to get married, I knew the Great Commission was very clear. So I went to Honduras as a full time missionary!

I found the man God had for me when I got on the path God had for me. He was serving in the same ministry. We met in Honduras and were married there too! That was eight years ago. I am still here, serving the Lord with all my heart along side the man that God sent me as I took the step to obey and trust.