Q: How do singles deal with loneliness and isolation overseas?

Loneliness comes in many forms, the answer for all is to look to the Lord Who promises to be all we need. It is so good when we can rejoice in seasons of alone time with our Father. But He surely created us to be in community at times too, being intentional about building relationships is critical. In a new place it is an easy trap to think that you are the only one that doesn't fit in, that everyone else is already set in their groups and that there is no room for you- but that's a lie. God has gone ahead and provided people to love you, to care for you as you care for others. Continue seeking His face first and then look for those ladies (if you are a lady) around who maybe used of Him to care for you.

I strongly recommend against finding men for this role, even father-figure type men. A more seasoned missionary once cautioned me "no matter what the man calls you- sister, daughter, friend, whatever- he still sees you as a woman." In my brief time that has been proven true again and again causing heart ache and difficult decisions.

The one most important thing I've learned about being single is that I still "need" family. To build close-knit relationships with others to the point where you really feel part of a family, or like a "sister,” takes time and effort. You have to prioritize time to spend with those who are becoming your family just as married couples have to prioritize time together and with their children. Sacrifices will need to be made, but the intimacy of "being known" and "belonging" will be life-saving benefits. The challenge to building such deep relationships with other missionaries or nationals is that, at some point, your paths will part .... and the separation will be very painful. But again, the pain of losing such close relationships is really worth the joy and security you will have experienced while you were together.

As for isolation, if you are the type of person that needs close relationships and regular social interaction, do not chose to go to a place where you will be totally isolated from people with whom you can build friendships. It takes a special type of personality to thrive and remain healthy in a "lonesome" environment.

This is a tough one that I am just now starting to struggle/wrestle with. I'm currently in Brazil and I don't speak Portuguese yet, so I get lonely at times. What I've done is to ask the Lord to send me friends. Last week there was another American girl here, so I was able to spend time with her. A few times now one of the Brazilians who speaks English has invited me somewhere on the weekend. And one day while standing in line for dinner and talking to the Lord about my loneliness a girl came up and started talking to me in Spanish, which I understand a lot better than Portuguese. Ask for Lord for help in this area. He is faithful to answer and meet your needs.

After 13 years on mission field in Asia as a married couple with children, I would say some of the greatest blessings we had were the single missionaries who were a part of our lives. Not every couple is looking to expand their family but if you can be available and flexible, there will be families who love having another adult to talk to. The single gains a home to drop in with and someone to confide in but also needs to be willing to pitch in and help make the family work like any other family member. Maybe rather than confidantes over a cup of tea you will bond in prayer and conversation while shopping, cooking or doing laundry together. Our children loved having “aunties” to “replace” the extended family that was so far away and so did we. 3 of my 5 closest missionary girlfriends overseas were singles. A single can consider same gender friendships with members of married families as one coping mechanism that’s a win-win solution.